Welcoming My Fifth Decade

By Cherie Faus Smith

The months leading up to my 50th birthday were filled with emotion.  One moment, I was excited and looking forward to the new decade. The next minute, I was filled with fear. 
Age is just a number and it certainly shouldn’t define me.I tried desperately to see the cup half full. Time after time, doubt would creep in. I’d begin to feel extremely unsure of myself.  Oh, the wondrous power of negative self-talk. 

Then, I remembered a conversation with my mom many years ago. Her words of wisdom helped me see the light. She said that after turning 50, she no longer felt the need to ask for others’ approval, she felt more empowered in making decisions, and didn’t care what others thought of her. 

What was I afraid of? After all, I have survived three abusive relationships. I’m a melanoma survivor. I live with an anxiety disorder. 

Fifty should be a piece of cake.When the day I dreaded finally arrived, it was almost anticlimactic. To celebrate, my husband threw me a party with family and my closest friends.  It was an amazing bash and to see so many people in one room having fun, sharing stories, dancing, and eating delicious food warmed my heart. 

Nothing untoward happened. My spirit remained intact and all the jokes about turning fifty were kind. Looking at my loved ones around me as we celebrated, I could even see the years as awards earned rather than burdens borne.

I felt welcomed to my fifth decade.As I approached my birthday, I hoped I’d hit the milestone with grace. I certainly didn’t want to become a woman who sees an age spot or gray hair and freak out.  It’s super easy to go down that dark hole and get lost in the stories we tell ourselves. 
I choose to embrace the changes with my body and be grateful to be alive.

On the practical side, I’ve learned three things since turning 50:

1. You can’t cover your gray hair forever.
   For the past 40 years, I’ve been highlighting my strawberry blonde hair.  I prefer it to be a lighter shade of blonde and in 2016, I added purple highlights as well.  A few months ago, I changed the color to a darker shade and now, after only a few weeks, the gray is showing in my part.  It’s okay though because eventually I will become brave enough to embrace my gray and stop coloring my hair.
2. Bras are not your friend.
   I despise underwire bras for many reasons.  But the biggest one is because it pushes your breasts so close together and up towards your chin.  They literally look like they are going to pop out of the bra at any given moment.  I’ve been procrastinating on buying a new bra because it’s such a pain to find the perfect one.  I mean, to be honest, I would love to have those perky twenty-year old breasts again but I’m looking for comfort now and nothing lacy or see through.  If I could get away with NOT wearing one, I would.  
3. Sleep is overrated.
   I can’t remember the last time I slept the entire night.  My eyes are always heavy after crawling into bed but then about an hour or so later, I’m wide awake and ready to play Candy Crush.  And of course, my husband is sound asleep and SNORING so trying to fall back to sleep is tough. He even bought me ear plugs to use for Christmas.  Do they help?  YES, with the noise but I’m allergic to them.  Go figure.    

As I step into this decade, I’ll learn from these lessons and, I’m sure, many more. I’ll wear my gray as a badge of honor. I’ll get a proper bra fitting. I’ll explore new sleep routines. And I’ll embrace fifty and love every minute of it.


Because I have a passion for supporting women, I created a Facebook Group called Sisterhood of Fabulous and Fearless Women.  Would love for you to join.


We’re all entering a new decade with 2020. So whether you’re embracing a birthday or the new decade, will you share something you’ve learned in the comments, too? Or just suggest a place for a bra fitting. I’d love to hear from you. 

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Cherie Faus-Smith is a bestselling author, keynote speaker, & transformational coach focusing on women over 50.  Her goal is to inspire women (like you!) to live life on their own terms. Cherie’s been a guest on Good Day PA and, most recently, was the keynote speaker at the YWCA's fashion show event to raise money for their Domestic Violence program. 
She shares her experiences with surviving domestic abuse and being diagnosed with an anxiety disorder to inspire women to live life to the fullest, push their comfort zones, and thrive.

Find out more about Cherie on her website.  Also, you can follow her on Instagram and Facebook.

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