Click here to listen to this articleIs inner conflict holding you back? When we struggle with inner conflict, it is basically a battle between our emotions and thoughts. If a situation doesn’t turn out how we expected, it can release feelings of anger, stress, fear, and frustration.
There are many different types of inner conflict. You may know you need to end a relationship, but you keep talking yourself out of it. You may know you need to adopt a healthier diet but eating the foods you love is the only thing that gives you pleasure right now. Whatever the inner conflict is, it could be holding you back from a happy, healthy life. Discover 5 ways to address inner conflicts to be happier and more fulfilled. 1. Identify and confront inner conflicts You’re going to find it hard to address your inner conflict if you aren’t fully aware of it. However, identifying and being aware of inner conflict isn’t always easy. After all, it is much easier to ignore confrontation and the things that make us uncomfortable. The trouble is, when you ignore your inner conflicts, they simply get worse over time. So, start by writing down what you want and the things that are holding you back. Then, delve into your inner conflict and try and understand where it comes from. For example, is it coming from a place of fear or comfort? Often, we stay stuck in routines because it is our mind’s way of protecting us. 2. Balance your rationale and emotions To address inner conflict, you need to be able to balance rationale and emotion. If you tend to focus more on your emotional needs and desires, your rational thinking will be compromised. Similarly, if you were to focus only on being rational, your emotional needs would suffer. To make the best choices, learn how to balance reasons and emotions. 3. Avoid making rash decisions When you are going through an emotional time, be sure not to make any rash decisions. Think about what is best for you, without forgetting about the impact your decision will have on others. It’s easy to make rash decisions when you are dealing with inner conflict. However, staying calm and really thinking things through is going to lead to the best decisions. 4. Think about what you really want What is it you really want? Often our inner conflict comes from not doing the things we desire. If you are trying to please everyone else, you are only going to end up feeling miserable. So, if you feel like you aren’t being true to yourself, take a step back. Think about what you truly want and then focus your energy on that. 5. Practice meditation Finally, meditation is a great way to address inner conflict. It gives you the peace and mental clarity to reflect on your life and the things you need to change. It may take a while to get used to it, but you’ll find great beginner videos online to help. These are some of the best ways to address inner conflict. If you want to live a happy and fulfilled life, dealing with your inner critic is essential.
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Click here to listen to this articleCould it be possible you hate yourself too much? Self-hatred is more than simply not liking yourself. When you suffer with self-hatred, you’ll constantly put yourself down and feel like you aren’t good at anything.
Here, we’ll look at what self-hatred is, the impact it can have on your life and how you can stop it in its tracks. Understanding self-hatred Self-hatred is basically like having a little bully sat inside your head. You will experience constant criticizing thoughts, pointing out your flaws and mistakes. Just some common self-hatred thoughts you might experience include:
You’ll put yourself down and compare yourself to others frequently. Self-hatred tends to develop over time and is triggered by more than one event. How can it impact your life? Although self-doubt is healthy, self-hatred is not. If you struggle with self-hatred, it can have a devastating impact on your life. Often the feelings of self-hatred worsen over time and can lead to destructive behaviors as you try and numb the negative self-talk. Many people who suffer with self-hatred go on to develop destructive behaviors such as cutting themselves, develop eating disorders or turn to drugs and alcohol. It can impact every aspect of your life including your relationships, your career, and the friends you include in your life. You may also stop caring about the things you used to enjoy and avoid things that make you feel better. The impact it can have on your life makes it important to treat quickly, rather than ignore it. The question is, how can you eliminate self-hatred? Ways to eliminate self-hatred from your life There are many ways to eliminate self-hatred from your life. Learning how to tame your inner bully is a great first step. So, when you notice that inner voice telling you negative things about yourself, switch it around. Stop those negative thoughts in their tracks and turn them into a positive. So, if your inner bully says, “you aren’t worth anything,” switch it to “I may feel like I am not worthy, but I know that I am.” The more you counteract the negative with positive thoughts, the more positive your mind will become. You can also make a list of all your strengths. If you struggle to come up with some, ask those closest to you. When you focus on your strengths, you won’t be too caught up in your weaknesses. Finally, work on building up self-compassion. That is, treat yourself the exact same way you would treat a good friend. Would you beat them up for making a mistake? If not, why do it to yourself? Overall, self-hatred can be a powerful thing to overcome since it builds up over time. However, the tips above can help you to start to quieten your inner bully and develop a little more self-compassion. ![]() When you are trying to practice self-love, you’re going to run into a few obstacles along the way. These can really derail your progress if you aren’t prepared. By being aware of the common obstacles, you can take steps to prevent them. So, let’s look at some of the most common obstacles people face when trying to practice more self-love. 1. You aren’t surrounded by positive, healthy relationships A major obstacle to self-love is toxic people. If you are surrounded by people who drain your energy and have a negative outlook, you’re going to struggle to practice self-love. Surround yourself with positive, healthy relationships. While all relationships go through hard times, for the most part they should lift you up and make you feel positively about yourself. So, if you have relationships which cause you more misery than happiness, now is the time to start taking a step back and focusing on healthier, happier relationships. After all, you’ll struggle to love yourself if you are surrounded by people who make you feel bad. 2. Feelings of guilt and selfishness Another big barrier to practicing self-love is feelings of guilt and selfishness. It is common to feel like self-love is selfish. This can lead to feelings of guilt when you attempt to focus more on yourself. You need to understand the importance of self-love. It isn’t just a luxury, it’s a necessity for your health and wellbeing. It certainly isn’t selfish so you absolutely shouldn’t feel guilty for trying to love yourself more. 3. Needing to be perfect Perfectionism is a major obstacle to self-love. While a little perfectionism can be a good thing, especially in business, it can also lead to disappointment, frustration, and unhappiness. When you feel like everything must be perfect, you aren’t going to be happy when you fall short. So, try and let go of your need to be perfect. Understand what draws your perfectionism and identify your triggers. Remember, nobody is perfect, not even you! 4. Not understanding how to love yourself Finally, another barrier is not understanding how to love yourself. Many people don’t fully understand what self-love means. They mistakenly think it is about doing things you want to do, rather than what you need. Self-love isn’t just about treating yourself; it is about making sure you are fulfilling your needs. For example, if you want to lose weight, indulging in junk food isn’t going to help, even though it might be brining temporary joy. Instead, a healthier diet and exercise routine is considered a form of self-love as it helps you to become healthier and fulfills the body’s needs. These are just some of the common obstacles to self-love you need to be aware of. By being aware, you’ll be able to figure out how to overcome them if they do arise. Finding people, you trust and who build you up is a big part of being able to practice self-love. However, don’t forget to be your own personal cheerleader too. The holiday season is upon us, and as usual, we throw all of our good habits out the window. It’s not just the diet that gets dropped, we fail to exercise, we drink more alcohol, and by the time the new year rolls around we need an overhaul. While you shouldn’t wait for the new year to commit to your wellbeing, it is a good time to hit the restart button. In the spirit of the season, we decided to share five ways you can renew your commitment to your wellbeing. We’re going back to basics.
1. Take a Moment Your mind and body need rest just as much as each other. We are so connected today that even when we rest our body, our mind keeps going. Whether you take a weekend off of technology or you disconnect for a few hours, there are a few other ways you can commit to your wellbeing. Meditation is a great way to reduce your blood pressure, relieve stress, and improve your focus. Your wellbeing will thank you. 2. Forgive You cannot underestimate how powerful forgiveness is. The holiday season can bring up a lot of frustrations and feelings as we sit down to sup with family members, we don’t see eye to eye with. As though the stress of shopping and cooking wasn’t enough, there’s the politics of avoiding politics at the dinner table. Let go of that grudge and when necessary, ask for forgiveness! 3. Community Humans are social beings. We rely on a strong social network to get us through the most difficult times. It makes us less vulnerable to sickness, stress and improves resilience. Loneliness comes with a wide range of health problems so, there is a real danger when you cut yourself off from friends and family. Of course, you need to surround yourself with the right people. Don’t hang out with any old people – choose positive people. It doesn’t matter how busy you are at work, how much running around you do for the family, make time for friends. You need to socialize, it’s crucial to your wellbeing. 4. Give Back Giving truly is good for the soul. So, make sure you find a way to contribute to your community. It may be with your money, but it could be with your time. Whichever you have more of, but preferably the latter. One of the greatest benefits of giving yourself to others is the stress relief that it brings. Of course, it also boosts your self-esteem and makes you happier. There’s a lot of reasons helping does a body good. Why not check out your local community center to find out where you can be of help. It may be helping feed the homeless community, passing out goody bags to people who sleep rough or coaching a kid’s team. 5. Consider the End This isn’t to suggest you should focus on death. What it means is that you should be mindful that life is short. When you consider that, does that change how you look after yourself? It should. The most common causes of death are tied to our lifestyle. So, by committing yourself to your wellbeing should help you reduce your risk factors for these lifestyle diseases. While you’re at it – throw yourself into life because there’s no guarantee of tomorrow. So, love, laugh and truly live your life. You can do that while still looking after your health and wellbeing. There are so many different aspects of life and choices that you make that contribute to your wellbeing. You don’t have to wait for the new year to renew your commitment, but it’s a great place to start. One of the most profound moments in literature is in Lewis Carroll’s Alice in Wonderland. Alice is walking and comes to a fork in the road. She’s not sure which way she should go, so she asks the Cheshire Cat, “Which road should I take?”
The cat asks her in return, “Well where are you going?” “I don’t know” Alice replies. “Then it does not really matter,” the cat tells her, “If you don’t know where you are going, any road will get you there.” An indispensable part of life is to know where you are going. If you don’t, you will find yourself wandering down any road that presents itself to you. When you have no clear destination, the decisions along the way don’t matter. This is why the fastest way to reinvent yourself is to establish a destination—or, in other words, to establish a list of personal goals. Personal Goals Give You Direction Moving forward is good; moving in a specific direction is better. Personal goals put a clear direction to your movement. This is why personal goals are vital to any personal reinvention. Most of us are familiar with feeling constantly busy, on the move, and booked with appointments—yet nothing seems to get accomplished. Personal goals give you a way to organize and direct all your movement into a specific direction so that you can accomplish what you want. Personal Goals Put You in The Driver’s Seat The essence of reinventing yourself is taking control of your life. Personal goals allow you to be in the driver’s seat. Goals allow you to take control of your time, energy and effort. Instead of just reacting to things that happen into your life, you take control. You decide where your energy is spent. Nothing will help you reinvent your life like taking ownership of it via your personal goals. Goals Inspire During the Mundane Life is not a movie. We don’t experience a continual stream of magical experiences, one after another. There is a lot of dullness stuffed in-between the highlights of life. That’s OK. This is where our personal goals rise to assist us. Personal goals can inspire us by reminding us of the bigger picture in life. We can compare that to what we are currently engaged in at any point in time. In other words, personal goals help frame how the smaller aspects of life play into the larger mosaic. Reflecting on how your day-to-day life fits in with your overall goals can thereby give you daily inspiration. Having this is pivotal in reinventing yourself Goals Help Organize What Is Important On a day-to-day basis everyone is bombarded with choices. How do you decided when to say yes and when to say no? With personal goals, that decision becomes easy. You can ask yourself: Does this activity align with my personal goals? Does this help me achieve my personal goals? The answer to those questions can help you decide what to invest your time in. It gives you a way to identify what is important to you. Goals Allow Us to Enjoy Life Ultimately, life is to be enjoyed, and nothing is more enjoyable than success. Personal goals not only define what success will look like for you, but also will give you the road map to achieving it. What many people fail to realize is that personal goals will also allow you to enjoy life even when the goals are not accomplished. The ability to learn, progress, and develop yourself when you have not accomplished your goals will bring you an enjoyable personal maturity. These are the many ways that personal goals can bring a greater degree of purpose and fulfillment to your life. Personal goals are a non-negotiable ingredient in any personal reinvention project. Thankfully you can start with something simple. Start your journey by making your first personal goal: A goal to develop a complete list of personal goals. And now you off! Take a walk into any bookstore and you will quickly get lost in the sea of self-help books at your disposal. You may suddenly find yourself struggling to tread water in this vast body of knowledge attempting to impart the newest and most useful skills to you. Where do you start and where does it end?
Well, what better place to start developing life skills than in the arena of… you! There are some skills that every person should acquire and other skill that everyone needs to have. Life skills that are all about you fall into the need category. Instead of just keeping your head above water, ride the wave of these 5 key life skills that are all about you. 1. Stress Relief Everyone is intimately acquainted with stress. Stress seems to collect as naturally as dust and likewise has an accumulating effect. The National Institute of Health states that chronic stress can lead to suppressed sleep, decreased immune response, headaches, muscle pain, and much more. Stress can have a significant toll on you both physically and mentally. While stress is unavoidable, relieving stress is a skill that can be developed. Identifying what opens the valve of your stress hose is the first step. Stress can be relieved a variety of ways and figuring out what your stress relieving methods are can be fun and exciting. Some stress relieving methods to try can include: exercise, social interaction, reading, music, sleeping, or meditation. Whatever form your stress relief comes in, the key is to understand how that functions in your daily life. Next, develop the ability to detect when your stress levels are reaching their maximum. Being able to sense when the stress tank is getting full and emptying it before it overflows will help you avoid many unnecessary struggles and hardships. This seemingly little, but actually significant skill, will allow you to avoid a lot of clean up. 2. Self-Motivation TED Talks are brief 10-20 min videos of expert speakers discussing a variety of topics from a wide range of industries. These videos are extremely popular due to their motivational and inspiring themes, but these extremal mediums are typically only catalyst for a brief time, while self-motivation is a skill that can be developed and has a substantially longer lasting effect. Self-motivation is a skill that can be developed by identify your strengths and areas of passion. Focusing and putting your efforts into the areas that you are naturally good at and enjoy creates an environment for consistent success. Nothing increases self-motivation like consistent success. And knowing that you have the ability to put yourself in a position to have consistent success increases the self-motivating cycle. 3. Receiving Feedback Feedback is typically from an external source and comes in a variety of forms. Sometimes the feedback is sought, many times it isn’t. Yet the way we receive feedback is a skill that is all about you. There are certain characteristics that come with receiving feedback and it’s these characteristics that can be developed. Characteristics like: being prepared to receive and expecting to receive feedback. Also, being open to and interested in receiving feedback all enhance your ability to benefit from it. Likewise, our perspective on feedback, is a skill that can be further developed. Feedback is simply information. Information that is processed and sorted into helpful or unhelpful categories. Perspective allows us to properly view both the good and the bad. Feedback ultimately is like a pair of shoes. If you think the shoe fits, then wear it. If it doesn’t fit, then don’t wear them. 4. Apologizing “I am sorry,” might be the 3 most difficult words that you will ever have to say. Yet, apologizing is a skill that is all about you. Yes, apologizing helps rectify the situation with the other person, but it not just about them. Apologizing releases you from any emotional burdens you may be holding onto. Developing this skill can have a greater impact on yourself than those around you. 5. Living A Life Of Gratitude This last skill might possibly be the most difficult and yet the most critical life skill that is all about you. This is due to the fact that the soil that gratitude works is internal more than external. In order to develop this skill, it requires that you practice it daily and with intention. Develop this skill by identify 3 specific things that you are thankful for each day. The key here is to be specific. For example, you might be thankful for your job, but what specifically about your job. Maybe it’s the flexible hours, or the type of work that you do, or a specific person that you work with. Being specific about your gratitude makes it real and tangible. Performing it every day makes it a lifestyle. It’s All About You! At times, it may feel uncomfortable to talk about and develop skills that are about you. But there should be no hesitation and difficulty with this because no one is going to put in the work on yourself more than you. So, don’t be hesitant or afraid. But dig-in, achieve, and master the 5 skills that are all about you. Who doesn’t dream of a better future for themselves? We wish that we could leave our humdrum job and instead sit on a beach to paint. Life would just be better if we could move to the country and live off the land.
The thing is, every one of us has a dream, they’re all different, but one thing many of us share in common is that we bury those dreams. At some point, we decide to take the well-traveled road and put aside our ‘childish dreams.’ We give up a bit of ourselves when we do that. Think of reinvention as a re-brand. It’s something that major companies do. Coca-Cola has changed up their branding, a couple of times in recent years. Just as Richard Branson has reinvented himself over the years to become the businessman he is today. Before Jim Carrey made his acting dreams come true, he wrote himself a massive check. He decided that if he could dream it, then he could also do it. One of the biggest things that hold us back from truly pursuing our dreams and reinventing ourselves is fear. That doesn’t mean that it’s too late to reinvent yourself. The first step in doing that, though, is identifying the fears that have been holding you back and eliminating them. There are three massive fears that often hold us back. 1. The Fear of Failure There is no one on this planet that enjoys failure. No one is into losing, no one sets out to do less than their best and lose. The problem with that mindset, though, is that we are too scared to take risks. While there are adrenaline junkies who pay people to throw them out of a plane, the idea of failure is paralyzing. Unfortunately, a lot of us really care about what others think about us. Failure is only temporary, though. You should think of it as a stepping stone. So, how do you eliminate your fear of failure? Look to the lesson in every failure and learn how to use it to your advantage. You can better yourself through failure. So, instead of seeing it as the end of the world – start seeing it as a learning experience. You might fail more than you succeed, but the more you put yourself out there the greater your chance of increasing success is. 2. The Wrong Mindset What is your inner voice telling you? Is it a positive force in your life? Or, is it whispering negativity in your ear and hating on your every action? That negative voice is fueling the wrong mindset and it’s that mindset that is keeping you tucked safely in your comfort zone. One of the best ways to eliminate this fear is to practice overriding those negative thoughts with positive affirmations. It’s all about drowning out that negativity and replacing it with the right mindset. 3. No Knowledge Sometimes the biggest fear that holds us back is a lack of knowledge. We don’t know what to do or where to go to make our visions a reality. The best way to deal with this fear is to find yourself a mentor. Look for someone who works in the field that you want to be in or does the thing you want to do. You can learn from them. If it’s a specific thing you want to reinvent about yourself, then find someone who is good at it. You can use social media to find people that are outside of your circle and build your network. Or, find a coaching program. You probably know someone with amazing self-discipline. They’re that person that manages to choke down a kale shake every morning after they went on a 5-mile run before your first alarm went off. They are incredibly efficient, they work hard, and seem to have endless amounts of energy. Then, there’s you.
You play games on your phone and look up at the television in between levels. Somehow, you have successfully managed to scoop snacks into your mouth at the same time. You’re not lazy, you are busy so when you have downtime you want to relax. What about your dreams, though? How will you accomplish them if you have no self-discipline? You can build that self-discipline. It’s crucial to your success, that goes for both your personal and professional life. Here’s how! 1. Acknowledge Weakness You should never let your weaknesses stand in your way, however, you should acknowledge them. It could be that social media is why you procrastinate or that pretzels are your biggest diet weakness. Either way, to improve your self-discipline you need to acknowledge what is most likely to derail you. 2. Plan You don’t wake up and magically find yourself possessed by self-discipline. You need to build a strategy. It doesn’t matter whether you want to build new and good habits or eradicate bad habits. The key is that you create a plan that will outline exactly what steps you need to take to achieve the goal. 3. Remove Temptation It would be nice if we were disciplined enough to resist our greatest temptations. However, if you know you’ve never met a bag of pretzels you didn’t love, then don’t keep them in the house. If it’s social media that messes with your day, remove the app from your phone or tablet. There are plenty of ways you can remove temptation, no matter what it is. Don’t be afraid to turn off the router and go without the internet until you achieve what you need to. 4. Discomfort Humans naturally try to avoid any discomfort or pain. However, this will only make you more unlikely to deal with any distress life throws at you. Resilience is a really important skill to possess and there’s only one way to do this. You can’t dismiss uncomfortable emotions, you have to experience them, whether it’s loneliness, boredom, sadness or frustration. Negative emotions are part of building self-discipline. 5. Visualize Sometimes it’s easier to practice self-discipline when you’re capable of visualizing the long-term rewards that your behavior will bring. If you give in to temptation today you will experience a short-term boost in happiness, but think about the gratification that will come if you resist. Imagine yourself as you meet those goals and gain those rewards. This will help you exercise your self-discipline on a daily basis. 6. Recovery There will be days that you find easier than others. When you experience a slip-up, whether it’s a treat you shouldn’t have had or a workout that you skipped, recovery is key. Don’t beat yourself up if you slip. Recover from your mistakes and keep going. Acknowledge them, but move on. Self-discipline is what is standing between you and achieving your goals. You don’t need to steep in jealousy at the people you know who possess self-discipline, though. You can use the tips above to increase your own self-discipline. Keep practicing and you will improve yourself. When you improve your self-discipline skills you can start to improve your life by pushing hard to achieve your goals. Now all you need to decide is what goals you want to pursue – you’ll need to start with your core values. We often make our way to the idea of reinvention after experiencing frustration and discontentment with our lives. Sometimes there’s a sense of longing to do something different, to find a new way to live and to be. This kind of reinvention evolves from the human need to grow and to change. Change comes about because there has to be more to human existence than simply existing and most people sense that over time. Sometimes in the early stages of reinvention, we think about what benefits we might receive from building a new self. Perhaps we just want to be free of a stale, confining and suffocating way of life, but that might not seem enough to us right then. Other than liberating yourself from a life with no change and no growth, what other benefits does reinvention offer?
Of course, a huge benefit is a more authentic and fulfilling life. After all, that’s the first purpose of going through this transformation process. More importantly, you learn how to be adaptable in the face of new challenges and that is a life skill that is useful in many ways. You learn how to cope with new problems and new situations. Once you've been through one reinvention cycle, you’ll be ready to do it again when you feel the need. You may never decide to reinvent yourself again, but that’s a matter of choice. You’ll know how to do it. That’s a life-changing benefit all on its own! Growing up, it seemed like your parents were always telling you to go outside and play. But, now that you’re older, you have more important things to worry about. You have a 40-hour workweek and a family to take care of. What you might not know is that nature can be healing. And, you don’t have to do anything more than to go outside to experience these effects. The Benefits of Going Out Into Nature There are plenty of benefits that come with going out into nature and truly experiencing the planet’s natural beauty. According to research published in the International Journal of Environmental Research and Public Health, here’s a look at some of the possible benefits of exposing yourself to the sights, sounds, and smells of nature, according to research published in the International Journal of Environmental Research and Public Health.
What’s even better is that some of these effects are produced immediately. You may feel apprehensive or stressed out before visiting a local park and feel a sense of relief as soon as you hear the chirping of the birds. How To Get Into Nature Though America is very much a developed country, there are plenty of locations throughout the nation that give you the chance to explore nature. America is currently home to 62 National Parks, nearly 7,000 state parks, and countless local parks that you can visit. Let’s go over what you can do to get into nature to reap the benefits. Figure Out What Calms You Some things in nature will be much more calming to you than others. The first thing you want to do is figure out what calms you personally. For example:
Whatever you love about nature that calms you the most, find somewhere that allows you to experience those specific things. Turn Off Your Devices According to the American Psychological Association, about 86% of Americans will check their phone constantly. So, to truly get the most out of your journey into nature, you’ll want to turn off your phone or tuck it away into your backpack. It allows you to truly focus on the world around you and escape the fear, worry, and pain that’s currently overwhelming you. You are just going to the park, and hearing the birds chirping might be enough for you to calm you down and bring you back to the present moment. But, to truly experience nature as it was meant to be shared, you need to give yourself time to enjoy it. That means make your trips into nature on days where you don’t have other obligations. Set aside a few hours for a 5-mile hike or an entire day to explore a state park. That way, you don’t have to rush around to see everything or look back in regret thinking you missed something. Nature is something that very few people genuinely appreciate fully. But it’s known to produce healing effects and can improve your mental state indefinitely. When you get out into the forest, on top of a mountain, or along the shoreline, take the time to appreciate the sights, sounds, and smells. You’ll never feel as calm or free as you will when you’re out in the real world. Do you want to improve your mental state? Nature is something that very few people genuinely appreciate fully. But it’s known to produce healing effects and can improve your mental state indefinitely. It’s a great way for you to spend time with yourself, as well as find peace in the world around you. If you are interested in improving your mental health, try spending some time outside today and see how much better life becomes when we take care of ourselves. You deserve it! Go outside today and enjoy nature for all its worth! Watch this Video Related Blog Posts
At some point in our lives, we all deal with painful and negative emotions. Whether those emotions are fear, anxiety, resentment, or other fear-based emotions, if we do not learn to manage those emotions properly, they can get the best of us and destroy us. Identify the Emotion You cannot correctly address something you cannot first identify. It requires a level of self-awareness. It allows you to sit with your feelings, genuinely get to the root of what is going on. The act of identifying what is triggering the negative feelings eases the burden of trying to ignore or mask the sense while allowing room for what was determined to be addressed in the right way. The ultimate benefits of this can include reduced stress and anxiety (Partnership Staff, 2017). Eliminate Triggers Once you know what you’re feeling, you can begin to identify what causes you to feel that way. Determining actionable strides, you can take the situation or trigger causing that particular emotion to remove or reduce the impacts of those triggers. Or you can take steps to help you learn how to manage those triggers so they no longer produce the intense negative pain or fear-based emotion moving forward (Brown, 2019). Redirect Redirecting the negative emotions you feel into positive activities can be a healthy way to release those negative emotions. Redirection is about channeling negative emotions and energy into an action that allows for emotional release without causing harm. Activities can include physical activity, breathing, journaling, or meditation, among others. Each of these outlets provides an opportunity to help you feel less overwhelmed, thus reducing stress, tension, and anxiety (Scott, 2020). Seek Support Getting help from outside sources can be one of the best ways to get help with painful and fear-based emotions. Whether that support is in the form of friends and family or a licensed professional, sometimes having an additional person to talk things through with can help bring relief mentally and emotionally. Others can offer advice, tools, resources, and even just a listening ear to help you process what you’re feeling and develop healthy coping strategies to manage those negative emotions you feel (Scott, 2020). Gratitude Being thankful is a strategy that can act as a grounding force when faced with painful and fear-based emotions. Gratitude first draws us into the present moment by taking our focus off of the negative stimuli and causing us to find those good things that exist presently in our lives right now. Then it replaces the negativity with positivity by causing us to deviate from the negative emotions towards the happiness and joy connected with gratitude in creating. Taking a few moments to either write down all that you are grateful for or even simply think about them helps counter these negative emotions. We do not have to live indefinitely with painful and fear-based emotions. We can take action to help ourselves overcome negative feelings and thrive in our lives. Whether you adopt one of these strategies or several, these are great ways first to understand how you feel; address the cause of what you’re feeling. Develop coping strategies for situations where you find yourself encountering these negative emotions at any point in the future. References: Brown, L. (2019, October 22). How to deal with negative emotions: 10 things you need to remember. Hack Spirit. https://hackspirit.com/negative-emotions/ Partnership Staff. (2017, May 28). Coping with fear, anger, and other negative emotions. Partnership to End Addiction | Where Families Find Answers. https://drugfree.org/article/coping-fear-anger/# Scott, E. (2020). How to deal with negative emotions and stress. Verywell Mind. https://www.verywellmind.com/how-should-i-deal-with-negative-emotions-3144603 Do you ever feel like your life is not where you want it to be? You're not alone. Life can be hard and sometimes we need help getting through the tough times. That's why I'm here for you! I will work with you to create an action plan that works for your unique needs, goals, and values. Together, we'll find what makes you happy and help you live a fulfilling life. Click the boxes below to learn more about my services! Watch this Video Related Blog Posts
The most common conversations that we have around depression and anxiety revolve around scientific literature. We look at how anxiety and depression can be relieved or solved through pharmacological responses or cognitive-behavioral solutions. This is all helpful, and it's all true, but sometimes that isn't enough. Some people spend a lifetime on pharmacological products and still deal with symptoms of anxiety and depression. While some people go the route of ketamine infusions to get relief from treatment-resistant depression and anxiety, that is not the only option. There is something to be said for hope and faith. How on earth can hope and faith have any effect whatsoever on depression and anxiety? Let's talk about it. The Hopefulness A big part of any spiritual framework is a belief in something greater than yourself. That can help you maintain hope even on the longest of roads. When you have faith in something, you believe that it's more than wishful thinking that positive change can and will come by holding onto it. It's important to expect that things will get better. If that isn't present, what point is there to follow through? Life can be difficult, it can be challenging, and hope is key to getting through that relatively unscathed. The Open-mindedness When you are filled with hope, you are more open-minded to new and different ways of handling anxiety and depression. Sometimes, the people who need the most help are the people who have found traditional treatment partially or entirely ineffective. So, what comes next? If you have tried CBT, you have attempted medication, then what's left? The open-mindedness of hope ensures that you never give up. Hope fills you with the power to do everything possible to move away from depression and anxiety. For some, that means more prayer. Prayer, like meditation, offers stress relief and helps us feel more in control of our lives. Prayer doesn't have to be the traditional idea of prayer. It could also include journaling, meditation, sitting in peace, spending time in nature, or otherwise. While prayer isn't always practical, it can help. Positive Evolution Spiritual practices, whether meditation or prayer, communing with nature, or with fellow believers in service, may provide you with a boost in attitude and behavior. These positive boosts help you fight anxiety and depression. Prayer or meditation can help you recognize your emotional reactions more clearly, thus preventing the typical knee-jerk reaction. Sometimes the best thing you can do is accept the present and just do nothing. It’s a lesson that you can learn through the positive evolution of hope, faith, and practice of your spirituality. The Change When you look at your life through the lens of being on a spiritual journey, then you no longer view problems as obstacles. Instead, you recognize problems as opportunities to learn and grow. You get the sense that, at any given moment, you are where you are supposed to be. I want to be clear; hope and faith won't necessarily leave you jumping with joy as though no harm can befall you. It's more about understanding that with difficulty comes growth and every setback is an opportunity. Often, depression and anxiety stem from stress which comes from our inability to control everything. If you tend to react with disappointment, anger, sadness, or any other negative emotions, I want you to take it as an opportunity. Take a step back and ask yourself what hope and faith can teach you at this moment and what this problem or obstacle may uncover opportunity. You deserve to be happy. I'm a life coach who helps people find their path and live the life they want. Together, we'll explore your goals, identify what's holding you back from achieving them and create an action plan that will help you achieve success in all areas of your life. Let me help you find hope when it seems lost and faith when it feels impossible. I'm here for you every step of the way - just reach out! I can't wait to hear from you soon! Click the box right now and sign up for a free session with me! Book features this week: Related Blog Posts
According to the World Health Organization, nearly 300 million people across the globe have depression. If depression is left untreated, it can increase your risk of dying by suicide, put you at increased risk for developing cardiovascular diseases, and negatively impact your social and physical health. Fortunately, depression isn’t typically a condition that develops overnight. So, keeping an eye out for the tell-tale signs of depression may allow you or someone you love to get help before the condition worsens. Here are the signs to look for in yourself and those around you. Loss of Interest & Motivation One of the most obvious signs that somebody struggles with depression is a loss of interest in things they once loved, sometimes called anhedonia. This decreased interest is often unexplained and confusing to those around the person. For example, when a person whose world once revolved around playing basketball suddenly stops showing up for pick-up games and sells their favorite jerseys and basketball. Difficulties with Thinking & Memory When depression starts becoming severe, you’ll notice a difference in the thinking patterns of your friend or loved one. Once so eloquently, the person who eloquently expressed themselves and aced every test in school now struggles to get a single thought across. Their reviews appear disorganized or as if they’re in a mental fog. They may begin to speak slowly, and it seems to take them longer to process concepts or retrieve memories. Unexplained Mood Changes One of the biggest misconceptions of depression is that all depressed people will be plagued by sadness. While it’s true that your friend may appear down and unmotivated, mood changes might manifest them in other ways as well. Your normally level-headed friend may lose his cool over a minor inconvenience or event. Or a friend that’s typically upbeat and positive might shift their focus toward the negative. Reduced Performance at Work & School A lot of people you know might be struggling with depression without you even knowing it. Yet, declining performance in school and work is a clear-cut sign that somebody you care about is struggling. For example, depression may be the cause when a typically incredible student begins skipping class, forgetting to complete homework or failing assignments. If somebody who truly cared about success suddenly doesn’t anymore, they might have depression. Appetite & Weight Changes Eating is what keeps us alive and fuels our bodies to get through the day. Any unusual changes in eating and weight may be a sign that your loved one is struggling. It can show itself in several ways, including weight gain, weight loss, excessive eating, or not eating at all. Frequently, eating in excess is a coping strategy for depression. Suicidal Thoughts & Ideation The most concerning sign that a loved one struggles with depression are the prevalence of suicidal thoughts and imagination. When you notice these signs, time is of the essence if you want to save your friend’s life. Here are some signs somebody is feeling suicidal, according to Suicide Awareness Voices of Education (SAVE).
If you or somebody you know is struggling with suicidal thoughts, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255 or call emergency services. Depression is more of a concern now than it has ever been before. If you or somebody you know is struggling with the signs and symptoms above, you may suffer from clinical depression. Make an appointment with a therapist, counselor, psychologist, or psychiatrist as soon as possible to discuss treatment options. Depression is a serious issue that affects millions of people every day. It can be hard to know what to do when you or someone you love is suffering from depression. But it's important not to give up hope. There are many different ways to help yourself or your loved one overcome depression, and there’s no need for anyone to suffer alone. You deserve the best life possible, and I want you to get there! I offer free consultations to help you get started on living a joy-filled life. Give it a shot today! Book features this week: Related Blog Posts
If you’re considering therapy or even if you’re a few weeks in, you may be wondering if it’s all worth it. Is it working? You may not feel any different. Therapy can be expensive, so wondering about its efficacy is actually valid. If you’re new to treatment and still developing your relationship with your therapist, it may be hard to tell if you’re on the right track. Therapy effectiveness is measured differently for everyone. Someone might measure its effectiveness by how many days they shower in a week. Someone else might measure it by eating regular meals more than a few times a week. There are endless possibilities; however, there are some general things that are the same for everyone. Thankfully, there are some criteria you can use to evaluate the efficacy of therapy, according to the American Psychological Association (APA). These criteria, in a nutshell, use current empirical literature to make informed, research, and colleague-backed treatment decisions. Is It Based On Relevant Empirical Literature? Empirical means based on observation or experience rather than theory. The relevant empirical literature on psychology would be up to date, peer-reviewed, and based upon reproducible studies, and you can observe the results. You should evaluate if your treatment is based on sound science. How can you do this without being a psychologist? Today we have the Internet. You can ask your psychologist about the name of your treatment and the studies associated with it. From there, you should have a basis for your research. If it isn’t relevant or up to date, you might want to consider a new psychologist. If it is, however, then stay the course! Use Only Cutting Edge Research This criterion will help you evaluate if the empirical literature is relevant. There is good science, and there is bad science. There is also new science that hasn’t been around long enough to be tested extensively. You don’t want to be a guinea pig. An example of bad science is the science that draws a conclusion that isn’t based on enough evidence. Just because a treatment worked for a few people doesn’t mean it’s effective. Did the experiment account for the placebo effect? Was there a control group? Have the results been replicated? If the answer is no for any of these, be very wary. A Treatment Must Be Better Than Doing Nothing Let’s say someone has an extreme fear of spiders. One treatment might be exposing this person to so many spiders that they no longer afraid of is an option. However, this approach could horrify the person and increase their fear if unsuccessful. If this person has heart issues, it could also trigger those. A good therapist will evaluate all of these angles to determine if the treatment is worthwhile or if just letting this person be afraid of spiders is better. Treatment should help, never harm. If you think the risk of damage is too high in your treatment, voice your concerns to your therapist. Hopefully, they will convince you of the best path, but you should consider finding a new therapist if you don’t trust them. Guided By Specific Outcomes You and your therapist should decide upon specific outcomes for your therapy. Maybe you want to be less anxious or become more assertive. Without precise, measurable results, any endeavor is sure to fail. So be specific, not vague. Don’t aim at something like “I want to be happy.” Instead, work with your therapist to find specific aspects of your thoughts and habits that keep you unhappy. Then work on ways to change those. Weighing Options According to the ADA, “The strongest recommendations are based on demonstrations that the treatment under consideration is more effective than alternative interventions that are known or believed to be effective.” In other words, your therapist should give you a few options to weigh. Your therapist will be the best source of information on these treatments, but feel free to do your research as well. Choose only the treatments and goals that make the most sense to you. In the end, the final say is yours! Therapist’s Interpersonal Skills The central part of a therapist’s job is talking to many different people and engaging well with them. If your therapist is not involved or does not feel comfortable in the relationship, this can be an issue. If a therapist has good interpersonal skills, good enough to build a relationship with you, therapy will become much more effective. Therapist’s Ability to Assess You Upon going to a therapist, one of the first things they have to do is assess their new patient. If a therapist cannot evaluate their patient correctly, then there is no basis to start. Assessment is critical in creating the proper baseline and foundation for therapy. Individualized Treatment Plan Therapists deal with many different people that have various symptoms and issues. That means there is not a one size fits all type of advice or treatment. The ability of a therapist to alter treatment options for each patient based on their needs is a must for effective therapy. Your Ability to Open Up If you do not open up to your therapist and let them know what is going on, there is no way for therapy to work. It is not easy, but the honest conversation is a must. When you open up completely, your therapist gets a clear view of what they are dealing with, which will create a much more effective and efficient therapy experience. Your Willingness to Learn If you are going to therapy without learning, then treatment will not help you very much. You are opening up your mind to the options set before you is a must. Your Willingness to Change After you learn where your issues are coming from and ways you could potentially deal with them or fix them, you must want to change. Learning is one thing, but if you don’t apply it to your life and your issues, it will stall progress. If you are willing to make changes in your life, you are much more likely to work past whatever you are dealing with. Watch this Video Interview with Psychotherapist &autism advocate/consultant, Keischa Pruden Need to talk to someone? Click this ad below for a free consultation. Book features this week: Related Blog Posts
Therapy can come in many forms. Talk therapy is a practice that you can do differently where one of the most popular therapies available. Psychodynamic therapy, Cognitive-Behavioral therapy, and humanistic therapy are just a few popular therapy options. 6 Popular Types of Talk Therapy Currently Used Today Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy Cognitive-behavioral therapy is a widely practiced form of talk therapy that involves structured sessions. It is usually a short-term mental health treatment that addresses patterns of existing behavior. By understanding unhelpful thought patterns, the therapist can help guide the patient into making healthier choices. Cognitive-behavioral therapy can identify beliefs the patient did not know they had. These beliefs can be about themselves, others, or the world around them, just by addressing current symptoms and not spending as much time on the past, the design of this therapy to work on simple changes. Psychodynamic Therapy Psychodynamic therapy stemmed from what was once called psychoanalysis. Like psychoanalysis, psychodynamic therapy allows the patient to talk about anything that’s on their mind. The subconscious thought is encouraged so that a therapist can uncover thought and behavior patterns that may contribute to distress. Psychodynamic therapy can focus on current events as well as childhood and past events. Unlike cognitive behavioral therapy, a usual practice that is called psychodynamic therapy is on a long-term basis. It is an intensive form of talk therapy designed to treat depression, eating disorders, somatic symptoms, anxiety, and other mental health conditions. Humanistic Therapy These are designed to help the patient develop self-acceptance. For those who struggle with low esteem and depression, this can be a beneficial form of talk therapy. By focusing on current life, a humanistic approach to counseling is different from psychodynamic treatment. Possible techniques used in humanistic therapy include role-playing, reenacting, and active listening. Those who are suffering from relationship difficulties, trauma, or depression can all benefit from humanistic treatment. Dialectic Behavior Therapy DBT is a form of talk therapy that identifies negative thinking patterns by using favorable behavior modification. It is one of the most popular therapies for those who struggle with impulsive behavior and suicidal ideation or self-destructive behavior. By accepting the patient’s experience of what is happening, a patient’s trust is at the forefront. Unlike many other talk therapy practices, DBT comprises several components, including individual therapy and group skills training. Many patients who have had little success in other forms of therapy do well with this type of intensive therapy. Interpersonal Therapy Interpersonal therapy mainly focuses on depression and relationship issues. An interpersonal counselor can address relationships and mood cycles that impact one another. Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing EMDR uses talking and sensation techniques to help those who may be suffering from trauma. Specific eye movements can help reframe memories and situations so that patients no longer have to endure flashbacks or intrusive thoughts. This type of therapy generally lasts between 8 and 12 sessions. The Efficacy of Talk Therapy Many people assume all talk therapies are the same. In reality, just as patients are unique, so are their therapies. While cognitive-behavioral therapy may work for some people with depression, it does not necessarily work for all. Finding the right therapy is crucial when treating mental health issues. With a suitable form of treatment and counselor, therapy can help solve relationship and mood issues. You may have heard about talk or cognitive behavioral therapies before but not know what they entail. They're both great for different reasons and it's important to find which one will work best for you! Reach out today and schedule an appointment with me! Book features this week: Related Blog Posts
Many people will say, “Money isn’t everything.” That’s true in a sense. Life is more about contributing to society, being happy, and living a life worth remembering. The problem is that it’s impossible to live life in 2020 without the money to pay your bills and buy what you need to survive. Low funds can lead to money worries, which can then impact your mental health. Money Worries Statistics Even if you’re not precisely “struggling” financially, there’s still a chance that you have money worries. The topic is a huge social problem in America, with a 2019 Gallup Poll showing:
Though these statistics aren’t exactly comforting when it comes to the state of America’s economy, it might be relieving to know that you’re not the only one worrying about money. How It Impacts Mental Health Whether you’re worried about putting food on the table, avoiding foreclosure on your home, or keeping the lights on in your apartment, excessive money worries will eventually begin to take a toll on your mental health. In some cases, you might experience intense anxiety or depression. The constant money worries might keep you awake at night, unable to sleep, wondering whether you’ll have the funds to fill your gas tank to get to work in the morning. You might be afraid that your credit card will be declined when you go to buy groceries to feed your family. Other times, you may begin to feel as if you’re in a hole that you’re unable to dig yourself out of, as you don’t have a college degree to get a higher-paying job. You might stop paying your bills entirely, knowing that you’re hardly making a dent in your student loans. Reducing & Coping With Your Money Worries The good news is that there are some things that you can do to cope with your money worries successfully. For example, you can:
There’s no quick fix when it comes to money worries. You can’t avoid paying your bills, and your rent has to be paid each month. Since there’s only so much you can do overnight regarding your financial situation, spend more time healing your mental health instead. Watch this Video From Homeless to Landlord, Interview with Atiya Goldsmith Money worries are widespread, even when the economy seems to be booming. However, when they get severe, money worries can be extremely dangerous to your mental health. The best thing you can do is identify your money worries and then choose an appropriate and healthy coping mechanism. It also helps to educate yourself on financial planning and strategies. Do you have money worries? Money is a source of stress for many people. It can be difficult to know how to deal with your money worries. You may feel like you're drowning in debt, or that the bills are piling up and there's no way out. But it doesn't have to be this way! There are ways to cope with your financial stresses so they don't take over your life. The best thing you can do is identify your money worries and then choose an appropriate and healthy coping mechanism. Setting up a budget, talking to a counselor, life coach or financial advisor are all healthy ways to deal with money stress. Click the box below and let's get started on reducing that stress! Book features this week: Related Blog Posts
Fear is an entirely normal part of life. Maybe you’re afraid of spiders or other critters. Perhaps you’re fearful of losing your loved ones to illness. Or it’s possible you’re terrified of what you don’t know, the unknown. Regardless of your fears or where they come from, one thing is for sure: The antidote to fear is education and preparation. So, let’s talk about what that means and how you can make that a reality in your life. Why We Have Fears There are plenty of reasons that we as humans develop fears. In some cases, we’re fearful because we know something is potentially dangerous to our safety and well-being. For example, you may be afraid of heights because you know that losing your balance can cause severe injury or death. Sometimes, fear is something that we learn. For example, growing up in a household where your family members are deathly afraid of snakes may lead you to develop this fear as well. That may be the case, even if you’ve never encountered a snake in person. Then, you also have the fear that comes from the unknown. The Importance of Education Often, what we see as the “unknown” comes down to a lack of education on our part. It’s not that the information isn’t readily available to us. It’s that we haven’t learned about it or haven’t been exposed to it. Education is critical, especially if you have irrational fears. Let’s say that, as a child, you watched a special on television about shark attacks on humans. Ever since you saw those haunting scenes of shark bite injuries and shark attacks, you’ve refused to go to the beach and get in the water. Now, let’s say you choose to investigate your fear a little further. Doing your research and looking at the topic in-depth might end up easing your fears. Instead of believing that all sharks will attack humans while they’re in the ocean, you’ll learn that this rarely occurs in this day and age. Will this suddenly cure your fear? Maybe not. But it may just help you to work toward overcoming your fear in the future. The Importance of Preparation Sometimes, we have fears that come from what we know might happen. Though these instances may be rare, we intentionally avoid certain people, environments, or thoughts to protect ourselves from these fears. You end up living your life in a bubble. Let’s say that you grew up in a home where you witnessed emotional and verbal abuse. They told you that your parents truly loved each other, leading your younger self to believe that love comes with pain and abuse. You choose to avoid relationships altogether as you get older. Instead of letting your fear of bad relationships consume your life and deprive you of healthy relationships, it’s a better idea to prepare yourself for the “what-ifs.” That may mean figuring out where your boundaries are and knowing when to leave a relationship. You’d be less afraid of what triggers your fear because you know how to cope with it and handle it if it were to happen. Watch this Video How To Make Empowered Decisions Nobody ever said that overcoming fear is simple, significantly if these fears date back years or even decades. The best thing you can do is learn about what you’re afraid of to determine whether your anxiety is rational and warranted. Otherwise, continue to live your life and simply be prepared to protect yourself if you ever come face-to-face with your fears. Do you feel like your fear is getting in the way of you enjoying life? You’re not alone. We all experience fear from time to time and can be debilitating if not dealt with. But there are ways to manage it, so don’t let it get the best of you! Let me help you find peace with yourself and live a happier life. I specialize in helping people overcome their fears by teaching them how to understand themselves better through counseling sessions, workshops, or one-on-one coaching. I offer free consultations for those who want to learn more about my services before committing. Click on the box now for a free consultation! Book features this week: Related Blog Posts
Counseling can take many different forms. In addition to mental illness, many people seek therapy because of circumstantial issues. Depending on the person, there are a wide variety of treatment options available. Not everyone who receive mental health treatment are mentally ill. Life provides everyone with certain challenges that may feel overwhelming. Needing professional help to overcome life obstacles is separate from having a mental illness. According to the American Psychiatric Association, a mental illness is a condition that is associated with distress or a problem functioning in social, work, or family environments. A mental illness is diagnosable and occurs when a significant change occurs in the foundation of emotions, communication, self-esteem, or realistic perception. Examples of diagnosable mental illnesses include schizophrenia, bipolar disorder, clinical depression, socialized anxiety disorder, obsessive-compulsive disorder, and more. Although mental illness can be brought on by external factors such as trauma or life circumstance, mental illness can also be rooted in biology. For severe cases of mental illness involving schizophrenia or bipolar disorder, medication is often a necessity. Mental health does not describe a class of people. Regardless of personal, relational, or mood functioning, everybody has mental health. Because we are an emotional species, understanding and coping with our thoughts and feelings is essential. Visiting a mental health professional can help an individual uncover subconscious thought patterns, change problematic behavior, process grief, and repair relationships. If you are going through a hard time and thinking of seeking professional help, here are three steps you can take to get ready for this process. Acknowledge Your Feelings A great deal of energy can be spent avoiding unwanted feelings and emotions. Whether you’re experiencing marital problems, living through a death in the family, or experiencing a change in routine, it can be second nature to deny your feelings. By masking them through using substances like alcohol or drugs or by avoiding them through long hours at the office, you can actually prolong suffering. The first step to overcoming difficult obstacles is to acknowledge the feelings surrounding them. Once this is done, you can accept the need for help. Have Hope If you do not feel particularly hopeful about a situation, let alone the future as a whole, it will be hard to manage whatever it is you are dealing with. By assigning small goals that can be realistically accomplished, you can start to have hope for a better life. This is not an easy step. For those who are feeling depressed or extremely anxious, having hope in the future may involve finding outside help. A mental health professional can guide you through the process of overcoming painful emotions. Many people find comfort knowing they are not alone in their struggles. Watch this Video I'm Not Okay And That's Okay! Make Plans Most people find that they recover from mental health problems after seeking professional help. While the time frame for everyone is different, an increase in energy is common. Making plans that are designed around small, individual goals can help boost confidence and happiness. Set goals for yourself and be ready to discuss those during your counseling sessions. Therapy can help with all kinds of life circumstances. Whether you’re adjusting to a new routine or grieving the loss of a loved one, talking through the issues can improve behavior and mood. During a crisis, it is easy to become cognitively overwhelmed and when life feels unmanageable, our coping skills can decline. Visiting a mental health professional is one way to feel secure and confident in a variety of situations. Are you feeling stressed, anxious, or depressed? Therapy can help. It's not just for people with mental illnesses. It's for anyone who wants to feel better about themselves and their lives. Therapy is a process of talking through your thoughts and feelings in a safe space with someone who understands what you're going through. You'll learn how to cope with stressors in your life that are causing anxiety or depression so they don't control you anymore. If therapy sounds like something that could benefit you, click the box below and start feeling better about yourself right away! Book features this week: Related Blog Posts
At some point in our lives, we all deal with painful and negative emotions. Whether those emotions are fear, anxiety, resentment, or other fear-based emotions, if we do not learn to manage those emotions properly, they can get the best of us and destroy us. Identify the Emotion You cannot correctly address something you cannot first identify. It requires a level of self-awareness that allows you to sit with your feelings and truly get to the root of what is going on. The act of identifying what is triggering the negative feelings eases the burden of trying to ignore or masking it while allowing room for what was identified to be addressed in the right way. The ultimate benefits of this can include reduced stress and anxiety (Partnership Staff, 2017). Eliminate Triggers Once you know what you’re feeling, you can begin to identify what causes you to feel that way. By identifying the situation or the trigger causing that particular emotion, actionable strides can then be taken to remove or reduce the impacts later on. Or steps can be taken to help you learn how to manage those triggers, so they no longer produce the intense negative pain or fear-based emotion moving forward (Brown, 2019). Redirect Redirecting the negative emotions, you feel into positive activities can be a healthy way to release negative emotions. Redirection is about channeling negative emotions and energy into an action that allows for emotional release without causing harm. Activities can include physical events, breathing, journaling, or meditation, among others. Each of these outlets provides an opportunity to help you feel less overwhelmed and eventually reduce stress, tension, and anxiety (Scott, 2020). Seek Support Getting help from outside sources can be one of the best ways to get help with painful and fear-based emotions. Whether that support is in the form of friends and family or a licensed professional, sometimes having an additional person to talk things through with can help bring relief both mentally and emotionally. Others can offer advice, tools, resources, and even just a listening ear to help you process what you’re feeling. It can also guide you through developing healthy coping strategies to manage negative emotions (Scott, 2020). Gratitude Being thankful is a strategy that can act as a grounding force when faced with painful and fear-based emotions. Gratitude first draws us into the present moment by focusing on the negative stimuli and causing us to find those good things that exist presently in our lives. Then it replaces the negativity with positivity by causing us to deviate from the negative emotions towards happiness and joy that gratitude is linked with creating. Taking a few moments to either write down all that you are grateful for or even think about them helps counter these negative emotions. We do not have to live indefinitely with painful and fear-based emotions. We can take action to help ourselves overcome negative feelings and thrive in our lives. Whether you adopt one of these strategies or a combination of several, these are great ways to first understand how you feel, address the cause of what you’re feeling, and then develop coping strategies for situations where you find yourself encountering these negative emotions. ***** References: Brown, L. (2019, October 22). How to deal with negative emotions: 10 things you need to remember. Hack Spirit. https://hackspirit.com/negative-emotions/ Partnership Staff. (2017, May 28). Coping with fear, anger and other negative emotions. Partnership to End Addiction | Where Families Find Answers. https://drugfree.org/article/coping-fear-anger/# Scott, E. (2020). How to deal with negative emotions and stress. Verywell Mind. https://www.verywellmind.com/how-should-i-deal-with-negative-emotions-3144603 When as a society, we think of health, we typically think of physical aspects. We think of losing weight, gaining muscle, and looking athletic. What most of us fail to remember is that our mental health is just as important as our physical health. Mental health disorders are "real," but often treatable. Mental health issues can be either minor and short-term or life-long. Some others are more severe and require help from a professional. Today, amid a pandemic, political and civil turmoil, the mental health of millions of people is at risk. According to Mental Health America, "as the number of cases of COVID-19 increases, so does the associated anxiety. For the general public, the mental health effects of COVID-19 are as essential to address as are the physical health effects. And for the one in five who already have mental health conditions – or the one in two who are at risk of developing them – we need to take personal, professional, and policy measures now to address them." If you need the help of a mental health professional, here are some tips to follow. Where To Find Help? One of the best places to start would be your family physician, who can refer you to a specialist. Which type of specialist you go for help will depend on the nature of the problem and symptoms. Your family physician can do an assessment and determine where to refer you. A local health department, mental health facility, or a crisis center are also other available options. Try getting a few contact names, so you can research about more than one facility before choosing a provider. Also, if you have health insurance, they may provide a list of mental health providers who are covered in your plan. Your local health department or community mental health center, however, may provide free or low-cost care. Support Groups One supplemental program is peer support groups. They can serve as an essential addition to the help you receive from professional mental health providers. Support groups can be a valuable resource, for sure. A layperson usually leads these groups. They are designed to bring individuals together- those who have similar mental health or substance abuse illnesses. Other organized types of support groups are drop-in centers, warmlines, and training courses in mental health wellness and recovery. Types of Mental Health Professional
How to Choose the Right Mental Health Professional? Talk with the professional on the phone. Ask questions about their approach, philosophy, specialty, or concentration. Once you have selected and feel comfortable with a specific counselor or doctor, the next step is to schedule an office visit. Your first visit will involve talking with the therapist or doctor to allow them to get to know you and your circumstances for a visit. They will ask you what you think the problem is. They will ask about your life, job, living arrangements, family, and friends. Even though you may feel this information is personal, it will help the professional assess your situation and develop a treatment plan. As you start working through your treatment plan, you should begin to feel improvement. You should feel you trust your therapist and feel better about whatever circumstances you are there to face. It would help if you start to be more comfortable in your relationships because your treatment plan may be painful and uncomfortable at times. The more you actively participate in the treatment plans, the better you will be able to cope with your feelings more effectively. Related Blog Posts
Are you thinking about getting therapy? If you’ve never been to a therapist before, you may be wondering what to expect and how exactly a stranger can help you with your problems. These are very common and fair concerns! Good therapists offer you a large arsenal of therapeutic methods and research-based treatments. In fact, according to a study called Enduring Effects for Cognitive Behavior Therapy in the Treatment of Depression and Anxiety by Steven D. Hollon et al. “cognitive and behavioral interventions have enduring effects that reduce the risk for subsequent symptom return following treatment termination.” In other words, therapy has shown to continue benefiting you even after you’ve stopped going! Finding a good therapist is often the first step in your mental health journey, besides deciding to seek help. Read on for five ways a good therapist can help you resolve your issues. Finding the Root of the Issue Often, the issue you are dealing with has a much deeper root that you may not even be aware of. Sitting at home trying to find the source alone doesn’t work for many people. We don’t have an outside view of ourselves and our issues, but therapists do. Upon talking to them about what is bothering you, they may catch onto something you've probably not noticed, at all. From there, you could attempt to fix the root of the problem rather than just struggling with its effects. Deal With Depression One of the most prevalent mental illnesses in our society is depression. Depression can wreak havoc on your life and greatly diminish your wellbeing. Because depression is so relevant, therapists have developed many different ways to help people deal with it. Sometimes a mindset change is all someone needs to begin the journey out of depression, and a qualified therapist is the first step to recovery. Dismantle Your Fears Fear is something many struggle with, and it can hold you back from living life to its full potential. A good therapist can help you deal with your fears and phobias in constructive ways. Bringing Out Repressed Emotions Yes, the thought of bringing up repressed memories and emotions is horrifying. Still, if you leave let them fester you; they will affect your wellbeing, quality of life, and relationships. Talk therapy provides an efficient venue for dealing with repressed emotions for a better and healthier you. Life Skill Tools While you and your therapist work through your issues, they will give you exercises and advice to get you through your problems and tough times, as well as help you build efficient life skills. All these will enrich your personal growth journey making you emotionally healthier, stronger, and better able to cope with life. A Place Of Trust The ultimate crux of therapy is your relationship with your therapist. Therapy is a place of trust, and the therapist is your best confidant. Remember that everything that takes place in therapy is 100% confidential (by law), and the therapist can not divulge anything you tell them (unless you disclose that you are planning to hurt someone). In this place of trust, you can be yourself, and talk about the most personal issues, no matter how scary, shameful or difficult. The trust relationship facilitates your ability to be honest and therefore provide the best forum for dealing with and overcoming any issues you may have. Assessment Tests There are many assessment tests a therapist can employ to evaluate your mental health. If you think you may have a generalized anxiety disorder, for instance, your therapist can give you a test to diagnose it. Your therapist should also be able to draw upon their education and years of experience to test you for things you may have never thought to ask for. These tests are critical for forming a treatment plan. Non-Judgmental Conversation In therapy, you get to enjoy sharing with a bright, neutral, and non-judgmental person. Maybe all you need are some resources and a push in the right direction. Your therapist can help you with struggles in personal relationships, painful issues, any defects you want to overcome and can even help you with your career concerns. It is also fine if you need to vent. There are no wrong answers! Wanting to talk with a professional is a valid reason to go into therapy. You may even find that checking in every month or every other week is helpful. Problem Solving Therapists have an arsenal of scientific knowledge and treatments at their disposal. They will first work with you to identify specific problems you want to address. You may walk in feeling a general dissatisfaction about your life. Your therapist will help you determine what, specifically, is making you less satisfied. Once problems are identified, your therapist can suggest treatments. However, unlike at your primary care doctor’s office, you will need to be an active participant in these treatments. You will need to be an active participant in finding what to treat as well! You will only get from therapy what you put into it. Final Thoughts Therapy is not a must for everyone, but it is not a bad idea. Therapists are trained to help others process their issues. Even if you need only to vent or gain self-awareness, therapy is worth the time. Ultimately, the goal of personal growth can get a considerable boost when you find a partner in the person of your therapist to help you through that journey. Talk therapy, including Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) and psychodynamic therapy, offers a more satisfying life by helping people with emotional growth. During therapy sessions, a person is free to discuss their experiences and feelings with a trained therapist, who, without judgment, supplies respected opinions and options about how the person can make helpful changes. Why would someone commit to examining and discussing their life this way? By resolving psychological issues with guidance and support, a person can improve their quality of life and alleviate physical, mental, and emotional suffering. According to researchers, there are six excellent benefits available through talk therapy:
Improved Physical Health and Management of Chronic Conditions Emotional issues often result in physical symptoms. Resolving emotional issues with talk therapy can help alleviate physical symptoms of stress like:
According to the United Kingdom’s National Health Service, talk therapy can also help people manage chronic medical conditions for a better quality of life. Because these conditions affect a person’s emotional, mental, and physical health, talk therapy can offer ways to improve a person’s quality of life. Talk therapy is recommended for:
Measurable Changes in the Brain Forbes Magazine reported on studies that map brain activity showing measurable changes with talk therapy. Scientists understand that some emotional issues are the result of imbalances in the brain. Drug therapy is often used to restore the brain’s chemical balance. When the balance is corrected, symptoms from physiological and physical problems are lessened or resolved. Studies show that talk therapy alters brain activity in these areas:
These brain areas affect learning, memory, and emotions associated with the anxiety and depression that can be caused by stress. Talk therapy offers the benefit of helping to manage and reduce psychological stress and affects brain activity in these areas. Find Answer Have you ever confided in a friend or family member but doubted the wisdom of the advice they gave you? Do you feel dependent on others when looking for solutions to life’s challenges? Although ideas and support from others can be helpful, your decisions should be based on what you need and the answers that will be best for you. Because talk therapy is non-judgmental and offers respected opinions and advice, therapists help you discover the answers you need in your own way. By examining your life and emotions, therapists guide you to a better understanding of what works best for you and how to stop doing things that don’t help you. Talk therapy teaches you to use other peoples’ advice as part of, but not all of it, finding your answers. Reduced Psychological Problems and Behaviors As talk therapy helps reduce your psychological problems, it also helps change negative behaviors you may engage in because of these issues. According to Healthline, an online clearinghouse for medical information, talk therapy can help change negative behaviors associated with:
Long-Term Effects Because talk therapy helps people learn effective ways to cope with stress, one of the benefits is the long-term effect these changes can have on their lives. The stress management and coping skills a person learns can be used in multiple situations and with various problems. When a person faces a new challenge in life, they can draw on their coping skills to overcome new obstacles without added emotional, mental, or physical stress. Create Success According to the National Institute for Mental Health, one in six adults in the United States will suffer from a mental health issue during their lives. Mental health issues can arise from any life disruption, including loss, unexpected change, and other traumas. Successful people understand the need to resolve psychological problems to improve their lives and achieve their goals. Many people turn to talk therapy for this benefit. Click on the link below and get started today! Related Blog Posts
When was the last time you had a free moment to breathe simply? If it’s been a long time and you’re riddled with worry and racing thoughts, then you might be experiencing some anxiety. According to the Anxiety and Depression Association of America, about 18 million Americans experience stress in any given year. The good news is that there are some positive actions that you can take to relieve the intensity of the constant worry. Practice Meditation or Deep Breathing Some of the more popular methods for treating anxiety are categorized as mindfulness. It is any relaxation technique designed to bring you back to the present moment and become aware of what you’re thinking and feeling. It can be monumental for anxiety in particular, as most of your worries are probably centered around the future. Many people who practice mindfulness do so via meditation or deep breathing sessions. By focusing on counting your breaths and listening to the voice on the meditation track, you can bring yourself back to the here and now and minimize the anxiety you’re currently feeling. In just a few short minutes, you’ll feel more focused and ready to take on the next task. Figure Out a Healthy “Escape” Anxiety on its own can be debilitating and ruin your quality of life. Unfortunately, anxiety might feel even worse if you don’t have a physical location to deal with it best. After all, you might not feel comfortable doing your yoga stretches or screaming into a pillow while you’re at your work desk. If you have severe constant worry, you want to designate a location that you can cope best. Nature lovers might prefer to walk a particular trail at the local park. Fitness gurus might instead go to the gym and sweat out their anxiety in a metaphorical sense. Or maybe you want to dedicate a specific room in your house with a comfortable chair and no distracting stimuli. Create a Gratitude Journal When worry and anxiety are overwhelming, it’s challenging to focus on anything else in life. Your mind immediately goes toward what’s wrong or what will go wrong instead of what’s going right in your life. You know how aggravating it can be for somebody to tell you that it “could be worse” when you’re struggling more than usual. What you can do is create a gratitude journal. It can be written on a loose-leaf sheet of paper or even on a Word document on your computer. The goal of this is to create a list of the things you’re thankful for in life. So instead of focusing on how you didn’t get that job, you can write about how grateful you are for your sizeable caring family or your physical health. A Few Extra Tips There are more than enough positive actions you can take for your worry to go around. If you’d instead do something different, here’s a more comprehensive list of what your options are.
Figure out what works best for you, and stick to it! If you live with constant worry, you probably know that you wouldn’t wish it on your worst enemy. Luckily, there are many things that you can do to relieve this worry and improve your quality of life. If you notice that your constant concern is making it hard to do regular tasks and routines, you might want to pursue professional intervention instead. You know that feeling when you’re so worried about everything, it feels like your mind is racing? It can be hard to get out of this cycle. But there are ways to stop the worry and start living a life worth celebrating. I help people just like you find peace in their lives with my coaching services. Let me show you how I can help you live a life without constant worry and anxiety through coaching sessions, workshops, or one-on-one work. All it takes is one session for us to see if we're a good fit for each other! Schedule your free consultation today by clicking here! Book features this week: Related Blog Posts
"It's so difficult to describe [depression] to someone who's never been there because it's not sadness. I know sadness. Sadness is to cry and to feel. But it's that cold absence of feeling—that hollowed-out feeling.” - J.K. Rowling. Have you ever felt that way? Under normal circumstances, those who are struggling with depression might face this frustrating reality every day for long periods. But our current circumstances are anything but ordinary. Is there any hope of managing or preventing depression while facing a global pandemic, the resulting economic challenges, and political unrest? The short answer is YES. There are many tools to help you manage your depression. We've included a few strategies that you can do on your own. Quick Tip: Finding the right tools for you might involve trial and error, so don't forget to be patient with yourself. Depression - What is it? When fighting a relentless enemy like depression, it’s essential to know what it looks like. Though each person is different, some common signs of depression might help you recognize it when it’s happening to you or a loved one.
Be Prepared How do we fight an invisible enemy? The best thing we can do is a plan. You probably have a first aid kit in your home or car to deal with possible physical injuries. For those suffering from depression, strategies to help you cope with unexpected mental health emergencies should be on hand at all times. According to the CDC, 1 out of every six adults will experience depression at some point in their lives. It means that you probably know several other people who are experiencing depression. So, you are not alone! Even though many are facing this challenge, depression is a unique experience for each person. You should customize your mental health strategies to your needs and what works for you. Here are some ideas of what you might include:
"I like to use gratitude journals and affirmation journals with my clients. It's like retraining your brain." - Charlynn Ruan, Ph.D., Licensed Clinical Therapist. For many fighting depression, there are particular situations, people, or places that act as triggers. If you know what triggers your depression, WebMD recommends you ask your physician or therapist to help you brainstorm effective strategies that will specifically address those triggers. For those with moderate to severe depression, following the treatment plan provided by your physician is vital. But what happens when the game changes and we’re suddenly faced with a whole new set of anxieties? Depression During High-Stress Times In the wake of the COVID-19 pandemic, we face even more stressors than before. Some have gotten sick, lost their jobs, or simply dealt with the stress of living in a more isolated world. What can help us manage our depression in these circumstances?
When Depression Knocks on Your Door If we take the time to prepare now, we’ll be ready when depression knocks on our door. Though there’s no magical cure, we’re well equipped with strategies to weaken its hold on our lives. And we have the support of our loved ones, doctors, and other medical professionals. We are not alone. Depression can be a tough thing to deal with. It’s important that we take the time to prepare for when it does come knocking on our door. We need to make sure that we have all of the tools and knowledge necessary so that when depression does knock, we are ready for it. You will be able to learn how to cope with depression before it becomes too much for you. Get a free consultation now! Watch this Video Related Blog Posts
Mindfulness is a practice that emphasizes awareness of thoughts, feelings, sensations as a means of gaining more insight, increasing attention, improving concentration, and enhancing self-control, among many other benefits. The ultimate idea is that positive changes can be made to influence our attitudes and behaviors for the better via mindfulness producing improvements in these areas. When it comes to situations and stimuli that can trigger fear and uncertainty, mindfulness can be a powerful tool in one’s arsenal to combat it. There are several specific ways mindfulness can promote mental health during times of fear and uncertainty, ultimately promoting overall wellness too. Reduced Stress Research shows that regularly practicing mindfulness can reduce stress. Since increased stress affects both short-term and long-term exposure to fear, reduction of stress is a valuable benefit. A 2010 study explored this by randomly assigning participants to an eight-week mindfulness-based stress reduction group and comparing this group against controls on self-reported measures of depression, anxiety, and psychopathology, and on neural reactivity as measured by fMRI after watching sad films. Researchers concluded that the participants who experienced mindfulness-based stress reduction had significantly less anxiety, depression, and somatic distress than the control group. Thus, this demonstrated that mindfulness meditation increased positive affect and decreased anxiety and negative affect (Davis & Hayes, 2012). Improved Attention Mindfulness is also known to improve attention over time. This can be hugely beneficial when trying to cope with fear and uncertainty because one can use mindfulness to shift focus away from the source of the anxiety and towards something healthier and more positive. A 2009 study by Moore and Malinowski explored how mindfulness affected participants’ ability to focus attention and suppress distracting information. In the study, a group of experienced mindfulness meditators was compared with a control group with no meditation experience. The conclusion was that the meditation group had significantly better performance on all measures of attention and had higher self-reported mindfulness. Mindfulness meditation practice and self-reported mindfulness were directly related to attentional functioning and cognitive flexibility (Davis & Hayes, 2012). Less Emotionally Reactive Often, fear causes panic, poor judgment, and poor reasoning. This can cause people to respond to fear and uncertainty very emotionally without adequately thinking things through. However, research on mindfulness meditation shows that it decreases emotional reactivity. In a study that looked at people with experience in mindfulness meditation, evidence revealed that mindfulness meditation helped people disengage from emotionally upsetting circumstance. It also allowed them to focus on cognitive tasks better than people who saw the same images but did not practice mindfulness meditation (Davis & Hayes, 2012). The final conclusion was that the meditation helped participants respond more appropriately emotionally (i.e. calmly) when presented with an image that should have created an adverse emotional reaction like fear or stress. Watch this Video What I Do When The World Overwhelms Me Decreased Rumination Rumination can be defined as deep or considered thought about something. While not necessarily bad, when faced with fear and uncertainty, ruminating on the situation or the issue can lead to mental and emotional distress. However, several studies have shown that mindfulness reduces rumination. In one study by Chamber et. al. in 2008, participants who were new to meditation were asked to participate in a 10-day intensive mindfulness meditation retreat. Following the retreat, the meditation group reported significantly higher mindfulness and a decreased negative affect than a control group. They also experienced fewer depressive symptoms and less rumination (Davis & Hayes, 2012). Ultimately, each of these positive impacts promotes mental health, especially during times of fear and uncertainty. When we are less stressed, less emotionally reactive, have better attention, and spend less time ruminating on fearful situations/stimuli, we are better positioned to make decisions, engage with others, and navigate through life with positivity. Thus, finding ways to practice mindfulness via meditation and similar practices can prove to be a strong strategy for improving and maintaining mental health during times of fear and uncertainty. Reference: Davis, & Hayes. (2012). What are the benefits of mindfulness? https://www.apa.org. https://www.apa.org/monitor/2012/07-08/ce-corner Are you feeling stressed? Mindfulness can be achieved by focusing one’s awareness on the present moment, while calmly acknowledging and accepting one’s feelings, thoughts, bodily sensations, and surrounding environment. It's been shown to reduce stress levels and anxiety. With mindfulness techniques such as meditation, you can learn how to live in the now - without regretting what happened yesterday or worrying about what will happen tomorrow. You'll be able to better cope with life's inevitable difficulties when they arise. And it doesn't cost anything! All you need is a few minutes to get started. If you need guidance on how to practice mindfulness and learn all of its benefits, click the box below! Book features this week: Related Blog Posts
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