Stop living in your past.
Yesterday is gone
Take control of your present and live on! #RiseAboveYourCircumstances
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6 Key Benefits of Reinventing Yourself
We often make our way to the idea of reinvention after experiencing frustration and discontentment with our lives.
Sometimes there’s a sense of longing to do something different, to find a new way to live and to be. This kind of reinvention evolves from the human need to grow and to change. Change comes about because there has to be more to human existence than simply existing and most people sense that over time.
Sometimes in the early stages of reinvention, we think about what benefits we might receive from building a new self. Perhaps we just want to be free of a stale, confining and suffocating way of life, but that might not seem enough to us right then.
Other than liberating yourself from a life with no change and no growth, what other benefits does reinvention offer?
Of course, a huge benefit is a more authentic and fulfilling life. After all, that’s the first purpose of going through this transformation process. More importantly, you learn how to be adaptable in the face of new challenges and that is a life skill that is useful in many ways.
You learn how to cope with new problems and new situations. Once you've been through one reinvention cycle, you’ll be ready to do it again when you feel the need.
You may never decide to reinvent yourself again, but that’s a matter of choice. You’ll know how to do it . That’s a life-changing benefit all on its own!
How will you #ReinventYourself this year?
A year ago today I was being air-lifted to a local hospital. Doctors, family, nor I knew what the future held. I had a few spams in my brain and I couldn’t speak or move the left side of my body. I spent a few days in the Intensive Care Unit and almost a month in a rehabilitation hospital. Then came more therapy, first at home then later at a clinic. Today, a year later, I’m grateful to be alive.
I'm not sure if it was seeing the ambulance go to the back entrance of the same rehabilitation hospital I stayed at after my stroke. I'm not sure if it was the conversation I had with the leasing office about my decision to vacate my second-floor office. I'm not sure if it was losing my balance five times doing physical therapy today, but today was a very emotional day.
It wasn't until I got home, hours after I talking with the leasing office, few hours after physical therapy and seeing the ambulance, that it hit me. I was sitting on the floor in the middle of my living room and in front of me were boxes and tote bags full of things from my second-floor office. That visual was all it took for me to truly see what was going on.
This day was emotional because in so many ways I had to face the reality of all that the stroke has taken away from me. It was almost like seeing my career in boxes. The ambulance reminded me of where it all started. Losing my balance in Physical Therapy reminded me I'm still not steady on my feet. At that moment, in that lonely moment, in the restraint of the four walls of my living room, I was reminded that this rehabilitation is not temporary. Recovering from a stroke is not temporary work.
Many thought I should "be fine" by now. Others told me they thought I'll be doing stairs by now. Even my doctors thought I could drive by now. My kids and I would love to do all the physical things I did in the past and for me to take them to all the places we went. We all hoped. But as my temporary handicap placard got replaced by a permanent one, and I resumed with vision therapy, reality set in.
This is the reality seven months after the stroke: I'm still not allowed to drive. I'm having more balance issues these days, and it has delayed my transition from the walker to a cane. Although my speech and vision have improved, my short-term memory and my left eye are still of concern. The pain on my left leg often makes me feel foreign to my body. It is as if I have two bodies living inside of me because my left side and my right side operate on two different functioning levels. This is my reality.
After reality set in, in that lonely living room, my thoughts shifted from the loss to the gains. I thought of how strong I've been. My stroke strengthened me, so instead of looking at all that this stroke has taken away, I will hold on to the strength I've gained from all of this. Tenacity. Perseverance. Faith. Hope. Friendships. Advocacy. And those are things that nothing will ever take away from me.
Chou Hallegra, Stroke Survivor, Counselor & Consultant
Credits:Photo by Zoe Deal on Unsplash
Ever been stranded? Not just on the side of the road but on the sidelines of life? Ever felt like you have given it your all and still things did not turn out as you expected? I been there many of times. At those times, what I wanted or needed was not always what I received from others.
Life has a way of hitting us out of nowhere and even the ones who prepare well are not exempt from the pains that come from living. The death of a loved one. Chronic or sudden illnesses in ourselves or in a family member. Broken relationships. Life is hard. Life can be painful. We do not have to live long before we experience pain and loss of some kind. And, if we are honest, we can all admit that we had a time or two (or more) when we did not feel like we had the strength to keep going.
We are so good at telling others to "hang in there" and "keep on keeping on" and I'm guilty of it as well. But, do we realize that statements like these force others to be (or at least pretend to be) invincible human beings who should not feel hurt, lost, or even defeated at times? That is misleading. That is not human.
It also makes us, the people saying those things, hypocrites. Not always intentionally but still hypocrites to the true sense of the word. Hypocrites, because we know that we ourselves had moments where we felt exactly the same way and the last thing we wanted to hear was "hang in there" or keep on keeping on". We felt like giving up and most likely all we needed was someone to listen, someone to show that they care, someone to remind us that tomorrow is another day.
Sometimes, we use those statements when we do not know what to say. Other times, it is simply because we ourselves feel uncomfortable with the situation. In a few instances, those statements are the easy way out when we feel inconvenienced. Yes, being there for others is an inconvenience and few of us are willing to stop and support others in ways that are meaningful to them because it is easier to simply say a quick "fix-it" statement.
People are not looking to be fixed, they want to be supported. Even on my toughest days, I do not want someone to tell me "it's going to be okay" or "this too shall pass". I want someone to just sit with me awhile and walk with me in my hardships.
Next time you see someone hurting. Please do more than give advice. Sit with them. Talk with them. Share a time when you overcame a hardship. Most importantly, ask them "how can I support you in this?" This reminds them that they are humans, just like the rest of us. This shows that someone cares. This gives them hope. This also helps you help them in a way that they want to be helped.
Chou Hallegra - Counselor & Consultant
I know it's past 8 pm here in Pennsylvania and most people are done with Easter celebrations and they are now getting ready for the work and/or school week ahead. Why am I posting Easter wishes at the end of the day instead of this morning?
There are a few reasons. On a personal note, I have been caring for a sick child all weekend and didn't get to work on this l earlier today. However, it makes absolute sense for me to send this message now. You see, I wanted to talk about my favorite Easter hymn "Because He lives" and share how much it encourages me throughout the year and not just on Easter day. The phrase "Because He lives, I can face tomorrow" speaks hope to my heart.
I might not know what you are dealing with tonight or what you might have to face in the morning, but I know this one truth...When we believe in something bigger than ourselves, our fears of the unknown and fears of what tomorrow might hold no longer paralyze us. No matter what tomorrow brings, we can face it because He lives!
I pray that your heart is filled with hope and peace as you trust in Him to fight your battles.
"Because He lives, I can face tomorrow!"
Happy Valentine’s day, friends!
Has cupid’s arrow hit you yet? Do you feel love in the air?
I don’t know about you but I find it sad that we wait for thanksgiving to be thankful and valentine’s day to be loving. I believe that these values should be expressed daily in order for our actions to have lasting impact in our relationships and lives. But let’s change gears a bit; shall we?
Today, I want to talk to the person who does not feel love in the air, the one who is not expecting roses and chocolate today…yes, I’m talking to you! You might not feel loved. You might feel as every relationship in your life ended up as a failure. Maybe, you even gave up on love. I’m not a relationship coach nor do I provide marriage counseling, but I know this one truth…
TRUE LOVE STARTS INWARD & UPWARD.
People cannot fill the deepest longings of our hearts; they just can’t, otherwise they won’t be human. Humans by definition are limited and fallible. You won’t feel loved until you start loving yourself. Maybe you don’t see anything in you that is lovable and that might just be the problem. You are not lovable based on something you do, you are lovable because you are a person created in love!
Let me explain. The simple fact that you are alive and breathing today is proof that someone loved you enough to allow you to be… Let that sit with you a bit…
Now, if you were created in love, then why is it so hard for you to feel loved? Perhaps, it’s because you have been evaluating yourself against your own standards instead of seeing yourself through grace.
Here are 3 questions to help you determine your love standards:
1.What makes you feel loved?
2.What helps you love others?
3.In which situation(s) do you feel the least lovable?
Answering these three questions can give you an idea of how you evaluate love. Once you have determined whether your love tank is fueled by performance or grace, then you might want to work on specific steps to help you love yourself as you are. I realize this takes lot of work and it would take more than one blog post to cover that but here is a principle to get you started:
It is easier to love ourselves when we realize that we are first loved
and that becomes a truth that we choose to live by.
Yes, it is a choice. Everything in life starts with a decision. We cannot wait on other people to love us if we cannot love ourselves. And even when we start loving ourselves, there will always be a person or two that we might think do not love us. So, stop waiting for the world to love you, you need to start loving yourself for the beautiful person that you are; beautiful in all your flaws and shortcomings.
Here’s how I define LOVE : Living Out Values Everyday.
What are your values? What do you believe in? What do you stand for? What are your non-negotiables in life? Those are the things that should guide your life and be the lenses through which you see yourself. If you value respect, then you start respecting yourself more and expecting respect from others. And that’s just one way of loving yourself. Same goes for honesty, diligence, perseverance, and others values that you might have.
We love ourselves by treating ourselves as the beautiful people we were created to be!
So on this valentine’s day and everyday, please love on yourself. Start by seeing yourself as all that you are meant to be. And because you are all that (I mean it in a very positive way), then treat yourself as such. If you are not expecting any roses or chocolate today, offer yourself some!
You deserve your time and attention!
Happy valentine’s day and remember, you are loved!
Living Out Values Everyday...
It's the day after Christmas and many of us had at least 3 Christmases: the one we planned, the one we had, and the one we wish we had. I know many are dealing with emotional wounds and voids in their hearts because the holidays could have been different if only...
So this morning my heart goes out to my friends who are hurting, especially the ones who have father wounds. May the PERFECT Father wipe away your tears. May He fill the voids of your heart with HIS love. May He wrap you in HIS strong arms and may you feel His presence and protection in a very special way today.
If your mom, dad, grandpa, grandma, aunt, uncle, brother, sister, cousin or friend was not part of your Christmas celebration because they are either physically or emotionally absent, may you remember that GOD IS ALWAYS THERE and HE COMFORTS THE BROKENHEARTED.
We have Christmas because the Heavenly Father gave us His everything, His only son, so we could live life to the fullest. Today, if you have a father void in your heart, I encourage you to watch this video... This is why we have Christmas.
Sending hugs and prayers...
Chou is an Author, Speaker, Life Coach, Counselor and Consultant on a mission to inspire people to rise above their circumstances. She is passionate about helping others achieve emotional wellness, reach their full potential, and live fulfilling lives. You can contact Chou at firstname.lastname@example.org