You Are Where You Are Meant To Be...

I know this title might cause some raised eyebrows but I want to share something that has been on my heart for the past few months and I hope it will be encouraging for someone else as well.

Three months ago, I decided that I needed to move. I have been thinking of a particular town for the past two years and some upsetting things happened in June and I said, “That’s it! I am out of here!” Before you said that was an impulsive reaction, please read on. As I just mentioned, I have been planning a move for two years and just waiting for the “perfect timing” and the incident that occurred made me think it was time to move. But…
I am still living at the same place. My children are safe and we have recovered from this incident, although we still have our guards up. I looked for houses in the desired area both online and by driving around. I made a few phone calls and discussed it with a few trusted friends. Yet, three months later, no boxes are packed and my address is still the same. So why didn’t I moved after all?

Well, sometimes feeling stuck is good for us. Don’t get me wrong, the idea of being stagnant is not appealing but sometimes, just sometimes, if we are stuck long enough we start to find flowers where thorns once grew. We begin to see a path where once was wilderness. That’s why I am still here. After two years of preparation and 3 months of actively looking. I am still here and I am starting to think here is where I need to be. Maybe not for long, but certainly for now.

Not moving meant registering my son back in the same preschool, the one he dreaded to go to last year. What’s different this year? Maybe the new teacher, maybe all the hard work we did this summer is finally starting to pay off? Maybe both he and I learned to better cope with our frustrations about the chaotic morning routines and the long anxious nights? But perhaps, we learned something else. Running away is not always the best way out. Having limited options forced us to be creative. Our mornings are still not the best but there are definitely getting easier than they were last year. We are doing certain things differently and those small modifications are making a huge difference.

Not moving also meant that my daughter went back to the same school. Yes, she got a new teacher and she is in a new classroom. Instead of thinking, “oh boy! We have to fight again to get more support for her”, I decided if here is where we are, then we need to make it work. I scheduled evaluations outside of the school system and we are finding out some things that might be impacting her learning and the way she copes with the stress of it all. So we might be getting somewhere…finally!

Why do I tell you all of this? Because I think too often we are quick to change schools, jobs, neighborhoods, etc because we can. Having options is great but when we are stuck we might discover that we are stronger than we thought we were. Not moving also means that the incident that happened in June can happen again but instead of focusing on the “what ifs”, I choose to focus on the “here and now”.  I took precautions to keep everyone safe and healthy but I cannot enjoy life if I continue to live in fear.

So if you are stuck and just don’t see a way out, remember these few things:
1- The grass is not always greener on the other side. No matter which decision you take, you will have things to work out, that’s just how life goes. Therefore, don’t run…just yet…because you are not guaranteed an easier way wherever it is that you are running to.  

2- If all the doors are closing on you, look for windows. People might not agree with your ideas. The school might not approve the accommodations you requested. The bank declined your loan request. You lose the contract that you worked so hard for. Can there be a few windows that you missed to see, simply because you were too focused on the door? What are small opportunities that you are missing out on because you were just aiming on your end goal? Can something good come out of the closed doors? I dare to believe so!  

3- Flourish where you are. We’ve all heard “if life gives you lemons, make lemonade.” I like to say it in another way: When you turn your stumbling blocks into stepping stones, you find joy in the journey. You are not where you want to be, but it is your choice to either be miserable or content where you are. Things might not be what you want them to be but you can make the best of things.  

Stay encouraged my friend! I might not know what you are going through but I know this: we all want a break from all the turmoil we face on this earth. Whatever you may be going through, I hope you find joy on the journey. You might not be there yet – wherever “there” is for you – but rest assured that sometimes being stuck helps us get stronger for the “theres” in our life. Use the present to prepare for the future. Don’t waste this experience just because it is unpleasant, learn and grown from it.
 
From there (past) to there (future) is here (present) and Here is where you are meant to be!
 
“See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland.” Isaiah 43:19