GRACE & HOPE CONSULTING, LLC
  • Home
  • ABOUT
    • Meet Our Founder - Chou Hallegra
    • Blog
    • CONTACT
    • COURSES
    • Recommended Reading
    • Resources
    • Testimonials
  • INDIVIDUALS
    • Christian Counseling
    • Group Counseling
    • Life Coaching
    • Stress RELIEF Coaching
    • Supports Broker Services
    • Person-Centered Parenting
    • Support For Caregivers
    • Women Achieving Mental and Emotional Wellness
    • Recommended Reading
  • ORGANIZATIONS
    • Inclusion Support
    • Mental Health Consultation
    • Person-Centered Thinking Training
    • Stress Management Training & Coaching
  • Churches
    • Christian Counseling
    • Inclusion Support for Churches
    • Women Conferences
  • SPEAKING
    • Seminars/Workshops
    • Women Conferences
  • WRITING
    • BOOKS BY CHOU
    • PUBLISHING
    • Made to Overcome - Mental Health Edition #2 >
      • Author- Chou Hallegra
      • Author- Hope Naysha
      • Author-Louis Bianco
      • Author-Donnel Brown
      • Author-Kirsten Marie Peterson
      • Author-Domonique Jackson-Rodriguez
      • Author-Jeanne Cesena
      • Author-Tracy Loken Weber
      • Author-Kristine Irwin
      • Author-Rhonda Cee
      • Author-Kate Adams
    • Made to Overcome - Single Parenting Edition >
      • Author- Chou Hallegra
      • Author-Nichole Wilson
      • Author-Wendy Park
      • Author-JoAnna Gardner
      • Author-Kate Adams
      • Author-Jasmine Merill
      • Author-Catherine Hughes
      • Author-Erin Adams
      • Author-Debbi Stricler
      • Author- Dr. Leanne Montoya
      • Author- G
    • Made to Overcome - Mental Health Edition >
      • Author- Chou Hallegra
      • Author- Dani Adams
      • Author-Justin Birckbichler
      • Author- Nikki Burgess
      • Author-Dan Esterly
      • Author-Catherine Hughes
      • Author- Dana Lambert Hodge
      • Author- Al Levin
      • Author-Holly Miller
      • Author- Karsten Penkacik
      • Author- Shawnee Penkacik
      • Author - Thomas Newman Powell
      • Author-Carrie Reichartz
      • Author- Cherie Faus Smith
      • Author- Carol Strang
      • Author- Karima Leslie
    • Made To Overcome - Chronic Illness Edition >
      • Author- Chou Hallegra
      • Author-Christina Abernethy
      • Author-Lisa Baker
      • Author-Rhonda Clemmer
      • Author- Nikki Burgess
      • Author - L.A. Weems
      • Author - Shawnee Penkacik
      • Author- Dana Lambert Hodge
      • Author-Sara Mohr
      • Author- Karima Leslie
      • Author- Dr. Leanne Montoya
      • Author-Rafe Shearer
      • Author-LaShonn Edmunds
      • Author-Jennifer McPherson
      • Author-Julie P. Watson
    • We All Belong
    • Made to Overcome Caregivers Edition
    • I QUIT
    • Rising Above Sexual Abuse


BLOG
Spreading Hope
Sharing Resources
Empowering You
Doing Life Together

5 Tips for Living with Your Returning College Student

2/16/2020

1 Comment

 
By Cherie Faus-Smith
Picture

​Saying goodbye to my son as he headed away to college was heartbreaking. I was losing my mini-me and I enjoyed spending time with him each and every day.  We’re so much alike and it was tough for me knowing that I wouldn’t see him walk down the stairs in the morning, say goodbye to him as he left for school, or hear about his stories at dinner.


My first few weeks with an empty nest were uneasy and lonely.  Preparing mentally for your child to leave the nest and start their journey at college can be filled with a lot of anxiety.  They are venturing out on their own and, if you’re like me, this mama bear worried about his safety. The experience was heightened because he is our only child, which left my husband and I to find our new normal.
We’ve all heard the stories of couples ending their marriages because they couldn’t find common interests after their children flew the coop.  Would we become a statistic? No! I was determined to pull myself (and us!) together. Instead, we worked on reconnecting with one another after he left for school. 
As we spent more time together, we developed sort-of informal couple goals. My husband and I changed our diet and I began cooking healthier foods.  We also began working out together and it felt good to be on the same page. Being able to go to bed when we wanted to without feeling guilty and watching our own TV shows without him complaining was amazing. 
When I was finally comfortable with the fact that my son was gone, winter break began, and he was on his way home.My husband and I were excited to have him home for six weeks even though we knew our relationship would resume its spot in the backseat. We didn’t prepare ourselves, though, for our son’s own sense of newfound independence. 

In the beginning, spending time with him was amazing but then we began butting heads. As a business owner who works from home and has daily deadlines, I found myself balancing client time and giving him attention as well. He loved coming into my office and chatting for HOURS. Even though I knew work needed to get done, I didn’t want to hurt his feelings by telling him he had to leave.  After a week or so, my patience grew thin and I began lashing out at him.  

Our uneven keel wasn’t only my son’s fault - we had both become accustomed to doing things our own way.After a few weeks of me raising my voice and him feeling left out, we had a heart-to-heart.  I hadn’t taken into account how he was feeling about the changes. Once I began to see things from his point of view, and he from mine, we were able to get back on track.

My 5 tips on surviving those college years:
  1. Recognize your child as an independent young adult.
    The rules you had before they left for college no longer apply to this new reality.  We can no longer police their curfews away at college and our children won’t want to live by them at home, either. Instead, we can create a respectful space by requesting they at least call to let us know when they will be home.  
  2. Accept that your child will find their own path.
    It’s not easy letting go.  As parents, we have this need to protect our children and guide them in the right direction.  I remember our son telling me, “You need to trust that I am able to make good choices.” That was a hard pill to swallow but he was right!    
  3. Understand that there will be an adjustment period.
    You’re not the only one trying to adjust to the new arrangement.  When our son came home during his first winter break, I assumed that life would be the same as it was before he left but I was WRONG!  He missed his friends and independence. I tried filling that gap, but he explained that as much as he loved being home with us, he missed the ability to hang out with whoever and whenever he wanted.  I get it - I was young once, too.
  4. Remember that neither of you are mind readers.
    Just because your child is home for a visit, that doesn’t mean you should assume they will know your expectations.  For example, if they brought their laundry home with them, make it clear that it is their responsibility to handle. If they need assistance on how to wash or dry their clothes, you’re happy to help but you want them to take care of it.
  5. Enjoy their visit.
    Don’t stress out too much because before you know it, they will be back at school and you’ll be missing them.

​Our son has graduated from college with his Bachelor of Science Degree and has moved home to pursue his master’s degree.  It’s been an adjustment all over again, but we have set boundaries and expectations on both sides of the playing field and we are enjoying our time together.

Because I have a passion for supporting women, I created a Facebook Group called Sisterhood of Fabulous and Fearless Women.  Would love for you to join.
​

I would love to hear your tips on surviving those college years or even if your adult children have moved back home.  

Meet Cherie

Picture
Cherie Faus-Smith is a bestselling author, keynote speaker, & transformational coach focusing on women over 50.  Her goal is to inspire women (like you!) to live life on their own terms. Cherie’s been a guest on Good Day PA and, most recently, was the keynote speaker at the YWCA's fashion show event to raise money for their Domestic Violence program. 
She shares her experiences with surviving domestic abuse and being diagnosed with an anxiety disorder to inspire women to live life to the fullest, push their comfort zones, and thrive.

Find out more about Cherie on her website.  Also, you can follow her on Instagram and Facebook.

1 Comment
Linda Faus
2/19/2020 09:47:39 pm

Great job, and advice is spot on. Keep on moving on, you'll help so many others

Reply



Leave a Reply.

    Picture

    Chou is a best-selling Author, a Transformational Speaker,  Certified Life Coach, Counselor and Consultant on a mission to inspire people to rise above their circumstances. She is passionate about helping others achieve emotional wellness, reach their full potential, and live fulfilling lives. You can contact Chou at chou@graceandhopeconsulting.com

    Categories

    All
    ADD
    ADHD
    Anxiety
    Autism
    Behavior
    Children
    Community
    Counseling
    Depression
    Disabilities
    Faith
    Family
    Health
    Mental Health
    Parenting
    Personal Growth
    Person Centered
    Self Care
    Self-care
    Self Help
    Stress
    Stroke
    Suicide
    Trauma
    Women

    Archives

    November 2020
    October 2020
    September 2020
    August 2020
    July 2020
    June 2020
    May 2020
    April 2020
    March 2020
    February 2020
    January 2020
    November 2019
    October 2019
    September 2019
    July 2019
    June 2019
    May 2019
    March 2019
    February 2019
    January 2019
    December 2018
    November 2018
    October 2018
    July 2018
    June 2018
    May 2018
    February 2018
    January 2018
    December 2017
    July 2017
    June 2017
    May 2017
    April 2017
    March 2017
    February 2017
    January 2017
    December 2016
    November 2016
    September 2016
    July 2016

Picture

Pennsylvania
​

20 South 36Th Street, 1st Floor
Camp Hill, PA 17011


MARYLAND

6340 SECURITY BOULEVARD - SUITE 100
BALTIMORE (WOODLAWN), MD 21207

​
TEL: 717-216-0230 (also available on Whatsapp)
​CHOU@GRACEANDHOPECONSULTING.COM

Picture
Picture
Picture
Picture
Picture
​COPYRIGHT 2016-2020
  • Home
  • ABOUT
    • Meet Our Founder - Chou Hallegra
    • Blog
    • CONTACT
    • COURSES
    • Recommended Reading
    • Resources
    • Testimonials
  • INDIVIDUALS
    • Christian Counseling
    • Group Counseling
    • Life Coaching
    • Stress RELIEF Coaching
    • Supports Broker Services
    • Person-Centered Parenting
    • Support For Caregivers
    • Women Achieving Mental and Emotional Wellness
    • Recommended Reading
  • ORGANIZATIONS
    • Inclusion Support
    • Mental Health Consultation
    • Person-Centered Thinking Training
    • Stress Management Training & Coaching
  • Churches
    • Christian Counseling
    • Inclusion Support for Churches
    • Women Conferences
  • SPEAKING
    • Seminars/Workshops
    • Women Conferences
  • WRITING
    • BOOKS BY CHOU
    • PUBLISHING
    • Made to Overcome - Mental Health Edition #2 >
      • Author- Chou Hallegra
      • Author- Hope Naysha
      • Author-Louis Bianco
      • Author-Donnel Brown
      • Author-Kirsten Marie Peterson
      • Author-Domonique Jackson-Rodriguez
      • Author-Jeanne Cesena
      • Author-Tracy Loken Weber
      • Author-Kristine Irwin
      • Author-Rhonda Cee
      • Author-Kate Adams
    • Made to Overcome - Single Parenting Edition >
      • Author- Chou Hallegra
      • Author-Nichole Wilson
      • Author-Wendy Park
      • Author-JoAnna Gardner
      • Author-Kate Adams
      • Author-Jasmine Merill
      • Author-Catherine Hughes
      • Author-Erin Adams
      • Author-Debbi Stricler
      • Author- Dr. Leanne Montoya
      • Author- G
    • Made to Overcome - Mental Health Edition >
      • Author- Chou Hallegra
      • Author- Dani Adams
      • Author-Justin Birckbichler
      • Author- Nikki Burgess
      • Author-Dan Esterly
      • Author-Catherine Hughes
      • Author- Dana Lambert Hodge
      • Author- Al Levin
      • Author-Holly Miller
      • Author- Karsten Penkacik
      • Author- Shawnee Penkacik
      • Author - Thomas Newman Powell
      • Author-Carrie Reichartz
      • Author- Cherie Faus Smith
      • Author- Carol Strang
      • Author- Karima Leslie
    • Made To Overcome - Chronic Illness Edition >
      • Author- Chou Hallegra
      • Author-Christina Abernethy
      • Author-Lisa Baker
      • Author-Rhonda Clemmer
      • Author- Nikki Burgess
      • Author - L.A. Weems
      • Author - Shawnee Penkacik
      • Author- Dana Lambert Hodge
      • Author-Sara Mohr
      • Author- Karima Leslie
      • Author- Dr. Leanne Montoya
      • Author-Rafe Shearer
      • Author-LaShonn Edmunds
      • Author-Jennifer McPherson
      • Author-Julie P. Watson
    • We All Belong
    • Made to Overcome Caregivers Edition
    • I QUIT
    • Rising Above Sexual Abuse